Stef: You followed the Dead on tour.
(I think I'm having a flashback.)
Just like you, we're really funny. Or like to think so. As there are two Jasons in the game, one GMing and one playing, Jason-GM is listed as "GM" for the sake of clarity. Rob was in charge of writing these down during play (the things folks will do for points), but the contribution is open since he dropped out. (Oh, Elaaaaiiiiine...)
We'd like to thank David Golden, GM in the Amber campaign The Vanishing Point. The format of our quotes page has been influenced by his collection.
GM: Seventeen points? C'mon. Stef, you know you want to bid.
Stef: Jason, you know that I don't.
(Trying to get them to spend points is hard.)
Rob: I've got red hair! Corwin's got black hair!
GM: Do you have a problem with Corwin?
Rob: No, it's just... I have this weird feeling Fiona's my mother.
(Paranoia born from genetic discrepencies and winning 1st Rank in Psyche; or, Dealing with Parentage.)
Stef: Damn...
Everyone stops and looks at her.
Stef: I'm just still in shock over getting Random!
(Luke, I am your father; or, Dealing with Parentage, Part Two.)
Jason: I'm still dealing with Sweetness and Light.
Stef: Flora is not all sweetness and light!
(Lying to yourself; or, Dealing with Parentage, Part Three.)
Jason: Logrus is more effective than Pattern.
Stef: It depends on what you're trying to affect.
GM: Jason, think of it this way. Patternfall War: fifteen or so Amberites and their forces versus hundreds of Chaos nobles and their forces. Who won?
Jason: Point.
(It's not the size, it's how you use it.)
GM: I mean, the game is called Amber, not What I Did In My Summervacationways.
(You can tell a lot by who gets top billing.)
Note: Some of these will probably only make sense if you're a geek. If they do not make sense, please refer to a UNIX manual or a reference on TCP/IP.
Sam: ...Bexley didn't put much security on the Trump implant. He specifically
designed it that way.
GM: You're the only one I know who'd ever be in the position to start port blocking
for STP... Simple Trump Protocol.
(Never leave them a back door.)
GM: Yeah, I can see it. "Okay, Bexley, you've been working for a couple of
days now, and you finally have root on Dworkin's Trump..."
Sam: Great! rm -r /.
(Is it time yet?)
GM: Whoa! Are you nuts?!
Sam: Well, okay. rm corwin.
(Well, that's one way
to deal with your problems...)
GM: You could take Power Words--
Andy: *glance that shoots that idea down*
Jen: Power Words are cool!
Andy: I'm going to say something at you and it's gonna *#%@ you up!
(What, you don't like Power Words?)
:)
Andy: No! Your writing's good.
Jen: I hope you're not being sarcastic.
Andy: No, I'm a Zero Stuff character now.
(Sarcasm earns you points, apparently.)
GM: So you're out in Shadow, reading these comics...
Stef: [Comic reading coma]
Brent: ....Stef?
Stef: Huh? What?
(And the game is on.)
GM: Okay, Matrim, so you're in... Gella... Gellamarma--
Stef: Metrogellix.
GM: Yeah.
(The differences between Shadows
are slight.)
GM: So you start shifting shadow... riding a horse, I'd imagine?
Brent: Yes.
Genna: I want to shift to a Shadow where horses don't work!
GM: Er... that's out by Chaos.
(...If anywhere.)
Brent: Do I know who's king here?
GM: You left Geriatrics -- er, Metro...
Brent: Next place I go to will be Geriatrics.
GM: Welcome to Spring Hill Retirment Shadow.
(No comments about the time flow,
please.)
GM: You bring the deceased knight's body into town... the healer checks; she
proclaims him dead. Everybody cheers! There is a great uproar of happiness and
joy!
Brent: I have this completely perplexed look on my face.
(Not everyone understands death
in the same way.)
GM: They invite you to dinner at the inn, with what little they have.
Stef: You get a crumb.
Jason: A piece of toast and a pea.
(Taxes exist everywhere.)
GM: ...until dinner is interrupted by the sound of ringing bells. Everyone
starts scrambling; people start shouting, "The King is attacking! The King is
attacking!"
Stef: He wants my nachos!
(Nacho tax?!?)
GM: You hear a guard shouting that the King and his sisters approach.
Elaine: His sisters? This is a threat?
(Just you wait.)
GM: The sky to the north is full of dark clouds and you see flashes of fire.
Seth: Aren't you glad you didn't raise your hand to him (the knight Matrim met
earlier)?
Stef: "Uh, no! I tried saving him!" "I smell a pea! You ate pea!" Wait,
that sounds bad.
(Er...)
Brent: I take it that the air doesn't feel natural.
GM: No, the air feels like it's getting very warm. You can see dragons descending
from the clouds.
Elaine: Are they real?
(Real or not, they're headed right
for him.)
GM: People are pointing and shouting, "The King approaches!"
Elaine: The King's a dragon?!?
(I don't think we're in Metrogellix
anymore, Toto.)
GM: And there are other dragons coming behind him, in a rainbow splendour of
light and flashes of fire.
(Those would be the sisters.)
Brent: Are they out in an open field? Or are they at least running for some
sort of cover?
GM: What cover? This is a town, it's full of one-story buildings.
Brent: What are the buildings made out of?
GM: Wood.
Brent: Wood.
GM: It's an agricultural community.
(Dragons 1, Agricultural Community
0.)
Brent: Is there a riverbed, maybe, somewhere nearby?
GM: There's a small stream running to the side of the town...
Brent: Well, that's better than nothing.
(...which is what the village
is about to become.)
GM: You can see on the horizon the beginning of this dead land. It looks like
it's creeping forward--
Elaine: What, a darkness? A void?
GM: It's moving forward. You can see it slowly dying.
Seth: It's like The Neverending Story...
Jason: --like The Neverending Story--
Seth: Get out of my head.
Elaine: I mentioned the Nothing ages ago. You two are late.
(Bidding for 1st Rank in Cultural
Literacy.)
Aloysius: Do you know how to shoot?
Marcie: Yeah, somewhat.
Aloysius: Okay. And if not, it won't matter, because... [motions to captured
agents]
Marcie: That's not very reassuring, Wish!
Aloysius: Not to you, but, you know, to them...
Marcie: That's not really very reassuring to them, either!
(It helps to have insurance.)
Marcie: I'm not about to kill somebody!
Aloysius: Well, I'm not asking you to. But accidents happen.
(Defining the terms of capture.)
Gramma: I think that they have the advantage, knowing what the map's for, so
we have to get them to tell us. We've got to think these things through like
they would.
Aloysius: Oh. Oh. So you're basically telling me I should go about this
in a manner which they would have, to extract information?
GM: They start looking pretty nervous.
(Turnabout is fair play.)
Marcie: So, where are you boys from?
[Resentful agent stare]
Marcie: Where are you from?
[Continued resentful agent stare]
Marcie: [Pointing a gun at them] Where are you from?
Agent: New Jersey.
(Ve have vays of making you talk...)
Stef: There's a New Jersey here? Wow.
Jason: Though it's actually where Delaware is on our world.
Stef: I'm not on Shadow Earth.
GM: Oh. It's... something similar.
Stef: Barely, but it's not Earth.
Seth: Jersey casts reflections in all places.
GM: Yeah, it's the One True New Jersey.
(All roads lead to Hoboken.)
Jason: So let's see: there's dragons coming, I'll get back to you; you fall
into a sinkhole, I'll get back to you; Marcie runs out to the store... I'll
get back to you.
Brent: Do we notice slight differences in the amount of peril here?
GM: You haven't seen Marcie shop.
(Jason breaks down Matrim, Forsythia,
and Aloysius' scenarios; or, Beware of hidden threats.)
Jason: Question for you on Amber physics.
GM: Okay.
Jason: The planet you're on is moving around the sun. Can you use that [as the
movement needed to shift Shadow]?
GM: You are thinking way too hard.
(But Copernicus would be proud.)
GM: What if the universe you're in is based off of the Christian Church's version
circa 14th Century?
Jason: Then just kill me before I screw up even more.
(We'll keep that in mind.)
GM: A page walks up to you and lets you know that your mother wishes to speak
with you.
Nicholas: She usually does.
(...so there.)
Jason: Oh wait, I forgot. I'm playing a bastard this time.
(Curt (adj.): 1 a : sparing of
words (see TERSE); b : marked by rude or peremptory shortness (see BRUSQUE))
GM: She needs you to seek out a woman named Odette.
Jason: Adette?
GM: Odette.
Jason: Odette.
Genna: Oh god...
Stef: Oh no!
Elaine: Oh dear.
Jason: Oh well.
Stef: Odette, oh dear...
Brent: Oh boy...
(Oh, be quiet.)
Demon Re: You do not remember traversing the Logrus.
Athan: [Not so subtly] So, uh, perhaps you could help refresh my memory?
Stef: Mrow!
GM: Oh, nice line.
Stef: It's not as bad as, "It's a chick?" "Yeah..." "Sure, I'll take the Trump
contact."
(Despite Logrus Madness, Athan's
still handy with the ladies.)
GM: Your body is starting to change--
Jason: Well, that happens at around your age. You see...
(The perils of Shape Shifting.)
GM: It's more like your body is going into fight-or-flight mode, and it seems
like you have this cellular urge to escape.
Genna: I like this.
GM: You like this?!?
Genna: It's Athan! Yes!
(Sometimes the first session is
for the GM to get to know the characters as well as for the players.)
Demon Re: This is where we instructed you, before you took the Logrus.
Athan: Is the Logrus some type of drug? I don't remember anything.
Demon Re: The Logrus. The symbol of all that is.
Athan: Yeah, does it come in little yellow pills or little red ones?
(Handy with the ladies and quick
with the wit; or, Athan Doesn't Remember Any of This.)
Demon Re: The symbol that came before! The symbol of all that is. We brought
you here after finding you in QIV. Suhuy instructed you in the ways of manipulating
the Logrus. You traversed it; you panicked. We lost you; I found you again.
Do you remember any of this?
Athan: I'm still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to be walking across
the little yellow pills.
(Suhuy becomes known as the Keeper
of the Mother's Little Helper; or, Athan Doesn't Remember Any of This, Part
Two.)
GM: You remember being very batty for awhile... you remember making your way
through something very confusing...
Stef: You followed the Dead on tour.
(I think I'm having a flashback.)